Actually Autistic

Speaking Up Episode #1: 6 Things That I Enjoy Doing

I’m back with a new video. It’s the first episode of a new video series that I created, titled Speaking Up. Creating videos about myself isn’t what I usually do, but I decided to try it in this video. I named the series “Speaking Up” because I can “speak” in the video, using text-to-speech technology. This is pretty much an experimental video, so the future videos of this series will be better. I’m excited about working on this project, and I am thankful for the technology that makes creating videos possible for me as someone who types to communicate.

I’m doing my best to end my video hiatus. Creating videos does take longer than writing blog posts, but I am passionate about it, and I will not give up.

Transcript:

Hello, everyone. I’m Emily, and today, I wanted to discuss 6 things that I enjoy doing, and why I enjoy them.

I haven’t been creating videos lately, so I decided to create this video to give you a look into what some of my interests are.

Number 1: Writing

Writing is the first interest I’ll discuss in this video. I enjoy writing because I want to share things with the world, and I believe that writing is a great way to do so. Writing is a way for me to express myself and get creative, which are also things that I like doing.

Number 2: Creating Videos

I also like creating videos. Creating videos is another way to express myself and get creative, and that’s why I enjoy it. I didn’t believe that creating videos would be a possibility at first, but I soon realized that becoming a video creator was a possibility. And thanks to the existence of text to speech technology, I can say things in my videos, like I’m doing right now! I’m still trying to improve my videos, but the progress I’ve made so far has made me quite happy.

Number 3: Baking

I enjoy baking because it’s simply enjoyable. There’s no exact reason why I like baking, but ever since I was little, I’ve enjoyed baking things. Cakes, cookies, you name it!

4. Designing and Drawing Things

I enjoy designing things and drawing things because I can get creative, express myself, and create my own, unique drawings and designs. I have always enjoyed doing things like this, and I believe that I will continue to.

5. Going On Vacations

I enjoy going on vacations because I can relax, and enjoy the moment. More things that I like about vacations include feeling less anxious, enjoying the activities, and having memories of the vacation, long after it ends.

6. Learning New Things

I enjoy learning new things simply because I enjoy learning things. I’ve always been curious about many things, and I never outgrew this curiosity. And I like learning things even more when they are things that I’m interested in.

Well, that’s the end of this video of Speaking Up. I hope to see you all again soon in a new video. Goodbye!

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Actually Autistic

An Update On My Official Website

My website will be down for a while. I’m currently working on the issues with the site, as well as changing the appearance. I’m hoping to have the website available by March 2019, but this date could change. I apologize for any issues that this may cause/may have caused. In the meantime, you may read from this blog, visit my other blogs/online accounts, or do anything you’d like, as always. 🙂

Actually Autistic

10 Things NOT To Say To A Disabled Person

My hiatus hasn’t completely ended yet, but I wanted to share 10 things not to say to a disabled person.

Note: I fixed some typos and added words that were left out. Most of my posts are written on mobile devices, so there may be typos from time to time. I oftentimes forget to proofread my work as well (that’s a neurodivergent thing, I guess.) I apologize for the typos and missing words.

1. “You’re not really disabled, right?”

This is a very ableist thing to say to a disabled person. A disabled person is disabled. There are no exceptions to this. If a person has disabilities/a disability, they are, in fact, disabled, whether their disability/disabilities “seem valid” to you or not.

2. “You don’t look disabled!”

This is a very impolite thing to say to a disabled person. Disabled people don’t have a certain “look,” and quite a few of us have invisible disabilities, meaning that our disabilities are not visible. “I never would’ve guessed that there was something wrong with you,” “But you look fine,” and “But you’re too pretty/friendly/etc to be disabled” are some examples of other ableist phrases with similar meanings.

3. “Can I play with your mobility aid(s)?” (If applicable)

Playing with a disabled person’s mobility aid(s) can be disrespectful/an invasion of privacy to a disabled person. Would you like to be asked if someone could play with your arm/leg/etc? Probably not.

4. “What disabilities do you have?”*

*This isn’t necessarily bad, especially if you know the disabled person and they’re comfortable with discussing their disabilities. But bringing the topic up out of the blue isn’t always the best thing to do. If you’re curious about the disabilities of a disabled person that you know, it may be okay to ask a question such as “If you are comfortable with discussing your disability/disabilities, would you like to discuss them?” It’s best to do so when discussing disability-related topics. Also, if the disabled person does not want to talk about their disabilities, it’s impolite to repeatedly ask them about their disabilities, just like how it’s impolite to repeatedly ask a non-disabled person about something that they are not comfortable with discussing.

5. “Aww, you poor thing!” (Basically pitying a disabled person or talking to them as if they were a baby)

Pitying a disabled person can make them feel bad about their disability. Acting like a disabled person is “suffering” from their disability is considered disrespectful as well, and so is talking to a disabled person as if they were a baby. You can try talking to a disabled person as if you were talking to a non-disabled person, and if you need to talk to them in a way that is more easily understood by them, then do so. But it’s almost always considered disrespectful to talk to them/treat them as if they were a baby.

6. “Can you be in a romantic relationship?”

I’m non-romantic (or whatever it’s called,) but not all disabled people are. There are disabled people who date and get married, just as there are disabled people who don’t, such as myself. But assuming that disabled people can never fall in love or be in a romantic relationship is ableist and certainly not true.

7. “Your life must be miserable!”

It’s very disrespectful to assume that a disabled person’s life must be “miserable” or “awful.” Disabled people do have struggles and face challenges, just like non-disabled people do. But assuming that a disabled person will never be able to enjoy life is incredibly ableist.

8. “Why do you do that?”

Asking a disabled person why they have their disability traits/symptoms can make them feel alienated. Some disabled people may be okay with this question, especially if you know them, but it generally causes discomfort to a disabled person when they’re asked why they have their disability traits/symptoms.

9. “Could you stop doing that?” (In reference to a disabled person’s disability traits/symptoms)

This can upset a disabled person, especially if it’s impossible or difficult for them to do so. Acting in disgust when an autistic person is stimming is an example of this.

10. “You mean that you have a disability, right?”

Disrespecting a disabled person’s language preferences is ableist and disrespectful. If an autistic person wants to be referred to as “autistic,” it’s best to respect their preferences and refer to them as “autistic.” If a Blind person wants to be referred to as “Blind” or a “person with a visual impairment,” it’s best to refer to them this way when referring to their disability. It’s better to ask a disabled person what their language preferences are than assuming that they want to be referred to a certain way.

Actually Autistic

Update: I’ll Be On Hiatus

I’ll be taking a break from blogging, tweeting, and posting on Instagram. My break will end in late November or early December. I’m looking forward to returning soon.

Actually Autistic

New Website Notice

I have an “official” website now. I created it yesterday, so it is not complete yet. The website is Emily Frost Official Website. I created it with Weebly (I am more familiar with Weebly and how to use it now.) If you have any questions, feel free to ask them. This blog will still be active (my “official” website serves a different purpose.)

Actually Autistic

Being Neurodivergent, In My Experience: The Article

This is practically an extended version of my first video of Beyond The Spectrum, in the form of an article. I’ve been wanting to post a new video, but I decided to go on a video hiatus since I have other things to work on. So, here’s an article about my life as an autistic & neurodivergent person.

 

Stimming

I’ve mentioned stimming before. Stimming is important to me. Some examples of my favorite stims are rocking, feeling soft things, getting under my weighted blanket, fidgeting in general, and so on. There are many other ways I like to stim as well. Stimming has always helped me, but I was ashamed of it before. Even before I knew what stimming was, I thought that it was bad, and that I needed to stop. Now, I’m very open about being autistic. I always find myself stimming in many ways, and I sometimes don’t even realise that I am stimming.

 

Communication

I communicate by typing. I taught myself how to type, and quickly learned how to communicate. I didn’t need help with learning how to type, but it took me some time before I started using typing to communicate. The way I type looks a little awkward to others, but it feels comfortable to me. I am very thankful for the existence of typed communication, even now. I am glad that I can share things with the world by typing. I have written about this before, so I don’t need to write much about how I communicate in this article. If you’d like, you can read Speech Is OptionalI Am Not Awaiting Approval, A Post On Being Non VerbalCommunication and Being Non-Verbal: A Post On How I Communicate, Non-Verbal Communication Is Valid, and Embracing My Neurotype.

 

Social skills and social awkwardness

I am very socially awkward. I don’t try to act in a way that society calls “normal.” I honestly can’t. I am not ashamed of being myself, even around others. I cannot easily “pass” as neurotypical. I tried, and that lead to burnout. Even though I’m not what’s considered “high-functioning” by some, society still wants me to act neurotypical. (Note: I dislike and do not use functioning labels.) Trying to process what’s said to me is very difficult. It takes me time to realize that someone said something to me, and it takes even more time for me to process it. Auditory Processing Disorder, which is common in autistic people, is the most logical explanation to this. I avoid eye contact as well.

 

Empathy

I do have empathy. When someone describes something to me, I can almost “experience” the events/emotions myself. I’m not sure if I show my empathy very well, but it is there. I don’t understand my emotions very well, so I don’t necessarily always know whether a feeling of mine is empathy or not. But I strongly believe that I am empathetic.

 

Change

Changes are very difficult for me to deal with. In most cases, changes lead to meltdowns, but they can sometimes cause me to experience burnout. Change has a negative effect on me, most of the time.

 

Meltdowns

Dealing with meltdowns isn’t easy. I don’t like meltdowns at all. I’m more aware of what causes my meltdowns now, so they don’t occur as often as they did in the past. But I still experience them frequently.

 

Shutdowns

A shutdown is my response to being overwhelmed. My shutdowns are practically internal meltdowns. They usually last a few minutes or seconds, but they’ll sometimes last longer. During a shutdown, I may be completely silent and very still, although I have different forms of shutdowns that I experience. I won’t respond very well to input during a shutdown. Oftentimes, when I go out, I will have shutdowns for at least seconds, especially at an environment where I receive high amounts of sensory input.

 

Sensory overload

Sensory overload is actually what can lead me to a meltdown/shutdown. I am now more aware of what causes me to experience sensory overload, but it is sometimes unavoidable. However, my hypersensitivity can help me notice things.

 

Memory & Attention to detail

I am able to remember most things, (or nearly everything?) that I’ve learned and experienced. I’m not very good at blocking out unwanted memories, but on the bright side, I can always “replay” an event that happened, whenever I need to. I can also quickly notice many things, and remember what I noticed years later. I consider this to be an upside of being autistic.

 

Special interests

I love my special interests. I can learn and remember everything about them. I’ve had some pretty unusual special interests, including air conditioning units, emojis, and office supplies.

 

Creativity

One of the reasons why I like being autistic is because it makes me artistic. I enjoy getting creative, writing, and working on projects.

 

Paying attention

I don’t know if this is an ADHD thing or not, but paying attention is practically impossible for me, most of the time. I have great difficulty with paying attention.

 

Self acceptance

Unfortunately, I struggle with this, as well as depression. But here’s some good news: I’m happier than I was before, and I am getting closer to accepting myself.

 

Feel free to share your thoughts, personal experiences, and more in the comments.

 

 

Actually Autistic

👻 Happy 🕷 Halloween! 🎃

Boo! Once again, halloween has arrived. I am busy with life at the moment, but I am hoping to write a new post soon.

👻 Happy Halloween! 🎃

Actually Autistic

Embracing My Neurotype

Trigger warning: Topics related to depression and poor self-image will be in this article. There are also references to functioning labels. Note: I dislike functioning labels, and do not use them. Functioning labels are mentioned because I used to wish that I was a so-called “high-functioning” autistic person. I believe that people who are considered “high/low-functioning” are simply affected by being autistic in their own unique way, and should not be labeled as “high-functioning” or “low-functioning.”

Update: Fixed a major typo. I do not believe that being autistic is an excuse or that autism is not a valid disability. I apologize for this mistake.

I used to believe that being autistic was “bad.” I wanted to be neurotypical. And I also disliked being autistic in the past because I could never hide it. I was obviously autistic, which made me feel bad about it because I would never be what society calls “normal,” “socially acceptable,” and so on. I had so many wishes. I wished I could stop stimming. I wished I could communicate by speaking. I wished that I was considered “high-functioning.” I wished I wasn’t me. I have struggled with self-image, self-acceptance, and self-respect. I don’t talk much about my struggles with depression online, but I decided to mention it in this article since it is related to self-acceptance, which is actually something that I still struggle with.

I was upset about the fact that I would never be neurotypical. I also believed that “autistic” was just an excuse for the way I am, due to misunderstanding. I still do not completely believe that my disabilities are valid, and I sometimes blame myself for them. For example, I believed that it was my fault for being autistic because I was a “bad person.” (I believed this about myself. I also thought poorly of being autistic.)

Yes, I used to discriminate against myself for being who I am. I’m generally not very open about my struggles with depression and self-acceptance, but I made the decision to share more about my struggles than before. I have overcome many things in the past few years.

I have realized that I am disabled, and that I do need accommodations. I have learned to accept myself and my neurotype. I’m autistic and neurodivergent. I now know that I (as well as others) should not be ashamed of being who they are. It can be pretty difficult to accept yourself, but it is possible. After a long while of disliking myself, I am now much closer to accepting myself completely. Today, I accept being autistic, and I am open about it. I don’t need to be considered “high-functioning” or “socially acceptable.”

Here’s a very true statement: Normal is overrated.

Actually Autistic

Non-Verbal Communication Is Valid

Something that I want the world to realize is that communication doesn’t have to be spoken verbally to be valid.

For those of us (like myself) who can’t speak or can’t use speech as an effective way to communicate, AAC (Alternative And Augmented Communication) is what we rely on to communicate. And, for some reason, typing or using some other form of AAC isn’t “as valid” as speaking verbally.

Everyone uses AAC, to some degree. Typing is a form of AAC, and many people using typing to communicate online. However, non-speaking and semi-verbal people simply rely on AAC more often. If AAC didn’t exist, I couldn’t create videos, nor could I write this blog. And more importantly, I couldn’t communicate. Once I could start typing, I found my voice. All these words inside me were finally set free. They were, for the first time, communicable. I finally found a way to communicate. I still think that typed communication is one of the best gifts I’ve ever had.

If you were me, you’d be the one who could sometimes say words, but not effectively use speech as a way to communicate. You’d be able to say short and simple phrases and repeat what you’ve said before. However, you couldn’t communicate verbally well. When you are able to speak, you can only say short and simple phrases, echolalia, and the most meaningless things that the world has ever heard. Long story short, you could say things, but you would be unable to communicate with the words that you spoke. I’m a very unreliable speaker.

This is why I need alternatives to speech to communicate. I do have an inner voice. I just need a different way to communicate with the world. I’m not “suffering” from being non-verbal. I am not “unable to communicate.”

I do not see why facilitated communication/AAC is not seen as valid communication. The truth is, all methods of communication are valid. Judging someone by their preferred method of communication isn’t right to me. I see verbal communication as valid, so why can’t non-verbal communication be seen as valid? I’d say that ableism is the answer.

All! Communication! Is! VALID!!! 🙂

I have two previous posts that are related to this one, Speech Is Optional and A Post On Being Non-Verbal.

Actually Autistic

Beyond The Spectrum #1: Being Autistic, In My Experience

This is the first video of my new series, Beyond The Spectrum. This video contains subtitles and audio, and I believe that this video is more accessible than the previous ones I have created.

There are a few minor imperfections in the video, but I don’t have the spoons and time to fix them. This is the first video of the series anyway.

Actually Autistic

Why You Shouldn’t Support Autism $peaks: A Video

This video covers the basics on why Autism $peaks is harmful to autistic people, what autism is, and how you can learn more. All of the videos I’ve posted so far are for people or are beginning to learn about autism, or people that want to re-learn things about autism that they have forgotten. I will have other video projects as well.

Actually Autistic

Ableism Awareness Month

I created a new event: Ableism Awareness Month. Ableism Awareness Month is a parody of Autism Awareness Month, dedicated to spreading awareness of ableism, and why it is damaging to disabled people. The theme is the color green (aka #LightItUpGreen.)

Why the color green? Because the color green represents acceptance to me, in a way. Ableism Awareness Month is also about accepting autistic people instead of supporting Autism Speaks and other ableists.

The ✅ emoji (white checkmark on green background) will be used as the emoji for the Light It Up Green campaign. I’ll create a website and possibly a twitter account for this new campaign. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them and I’ll do my best to answer them.

Update: There is a website now:

The Light It Up Green Website

And the Twitter account:

@LightItUp_Green

Actually Autistic

Are My Disabilities Valid?

Image by MissLunaRose

CW: Ableism

Are my disabilities valid? This is a question I’ve been thinking about. As someone who has been told that I’m “making excuses,” I’m “not disabled,” I’m “just being lazy/being too unmotivated,” I have had a hard time accepting my disabilities. But now, I am not even sure if they are real.

No one else can feel my pain and fatigue. Many people do not understand why standing and walking is difficult for me. Many people don’t understand why I am the way I am, and assume I’m faking my disabilities. To be honest, I don’t like being disabled either. I hate the inability to do things that are so easy for others to do.

Every day is a day of pushing myself beyond my limits, acting non-disabled, and trying to survive. I truly miss the days when my disabilities didn’t affect me in such negative ways.

So, here’s my life. I want to do things, but I can’t. I want to be energetic, but my low energy forces me to sit down or lay down. I want to walk and stand, but walking is painful, I can’t stay very balanced, and I can’t walk for a long time without other problems such as exhaustion. I want to live without joints that get out of place when I move around, but that is apparently not going to happen. I want to focus, but I can’t. I want to be able to process what people say to me and watch TV without subtitles, but I can’t do that. I want to be able to do things such as showering without difficulty, but my disabilities just had to get in the way of that as well. I have to deal with all of these things and pretend like I’m not disabled. And, this isn’t even the complete list of my disability symptoms.

What others have said to me about my disabilities is what makes me think that they aren’t valid. All of these disabilities are invisible ones. You can’t see them, but they are there, and they are as real as a visible disability.

I don’t think that I can be myself. I don’t think that I’ll ever see my disabilities as valid, at least not now. Feel free to share your thoughts on this.

Actually Autistic

Stimming

Image by MissLunaRose

I love stimming. I am always stimming in some way, whether I’m flapping my hands or thinking about a special interest. Burnout recovery, happiness, relief from boredom, meltdown prevention, or sensory input is always one stim away for me. Stimming is a part of being Autistic (and being Autistic is a part of who I am.)

Stimming is an action or movement that is generally repetitive. There’s an endless list of stims, with some examples of stimming being using a stim toy, rocking, and repeating phrases and sentences (more commonly known as echolalia.)

As an Autistic and neurodivergent person, I enjoy and benefit from stimming. Stimming makes me happy (and sometimes flappy.) Stimming, to me, is so important that my blog is called The Stimmy Autistic.

One of the reasons why I like* being autistic is because I can use stimming to help me cope with unwanted events, emotions, and experiences. Speaking of emotions, I recently discovered alexithymia, a neurodivergency that some autistic people have. It causes difficulty/the inability for a person to understand their emotions. I actually have difficulty with understanding and expressing my emotions myself.

(Okay, lets get back on topic.)

Stimming, as I have mentioned, is okay. During my early life, I was told to stop doing things that I have now realized were stims. I learned the hard way (through burnout and being told to stop stimming) that stimming is fine, and that it is nothing to be ashamed of.

*I didn’t always like being autistic. The negative associations I have with my autistic traits from years of being told to stop being myself still makes me feel ashamed of being neurodivergent sometimes, even now.

Actually Autistic

New Video About Burnout

Note: This video may be confusing. If you have any questions, or if I made a mistake, feel free to comment about it. I’ll reply with an answer to your question/a notice about an edit of this video being created, depending on whether you asked a question or you pointed out a mistake I made in the video. The same applies to all my past and upcoming videos as well.

Actually Autistic

Another New Video

This video is about why stimming is important. I’ll soon post these videos on the NADAS website.

Actually Autistic

New Video!

This video is about why it’s not okay to use “Autistic” as an insult. Leaving a comment such as [Trigger Warning] “Some stupid autistic person wrote this” is an example of what I mean.

Actually Autistic

Writing 101: Comparisons And My Experience With Blogging Platforms

This post will be about the comparison of various blogging platforms. I’ve had experience with quite a few of them.

WordPress: WordPress is the perfect blogging platform for creating a blog (or several blogs) with professional/simple/unique themes. Using WordPress is fairly easy, and you’ll likely understand the more advanced features (such as changing your blog’s theme or adding a widget) in no time. For example, this blog is on WordPress.

Blogger: Blogger is similar to WordPress, but there are fewer themes. The layout on Blogger is different from the one of WordPress, and is owned by Google. I have a blogger account with a replica of this blog. If you’d like to check it out, click here.

Tumblr: Tumblr is practically the combination of Twitter and WordPress. Reading & reblogging other people’s posts in a major part of Tumblr. On Tumblr, you can have one or more “tumblelogs.” Tumblr is very easy to use, and there are various themes you can use for your tumblelog (am I spelling this correctly?) If something is too long to post on Twitter, but to short to post on WordPress, then Tumblr would be the place to post it. I tried Tumblr, but deleted my tumbleog since I didn’t feel like I needed it at the moment. I’m not sure if I’ll create a new Tumblr, but if I ever do, I’ll let you know.

Weebly: My experience with Weebly wasn’t the best, mainly because I didn’t understand how to use it. Weebly is a blogging platform for anyone who can understand it, I guess. As far as I know, I still have a Weebly account, just in case I need to use it.

Medium: Honestly, Medium is the only blogging platform on this list that I never tried using, mainly because it wasn’t what I was looking for. However, I do know that Medium is a great blogging platform for those who want to post articles and read the articles of others as well. I guess you could say that this is a fancy form of Tumblr, considering that Medium is focused on reading the articles of others as well as posting articles yourself.

So, here’s a summary:

WordPress: One of the most well-known blogging platforms. An upside to WordPress is that you can make websites that aren’t blogs as well. Whether you’re writing a personal blog or running a professional website, WordPress has everything you need for your website.

Tumblr: Tumblr is one of the only blogging platforms that merges blogging with social media, making Tumblr an excellent place to promote your main blog, write your main blog, or share your opinions.

Blogger: Blogger is like WordPress, with a different layout. Both WordPress and Blogger are excellent for blogging. However, Blogger isn’t the ideal platform to use if you’re creating a professional website.

Weebly: Weebly is a platform that can be used to create personal and professional websites, if you know how to use it.

Medium: Medium is somewhat like a fancy Tumblr with less features than Tumblr. Medium is where you can post articles using your account, and is a place where you can read the articles of others as well.

Actually Autistic

Throwback Thursday #1: Passing as Neurotypical, Burnout, & Taking The Mask Off

This is a self-quote about self-acceptance and celebrating your diversity.

I’ve always tried to pass as neurotypical, even before I discovered that I wasn’t. This is a Throwback Thursday post about how I’ve tried to pass as neurotypical my whole life. I’ll keep this post short.

I’ve always tried to pass as neurotypical. I did not know what “neurotypical” or “neurodivergent” meant back then, but I tried to stop myself from doing anything that was different from what others were doing. I relied very much on the behaviors of others. My goal was to be as normal as possible. I did not know that my goal was destroying me inside until I had my first burnout. That’s when I realized that I couldn’t do what I was doing anymore.

When I first experienced burnout, I couldn’t pass anymore. I had to stim. I had to be myself. During my first burnout experience, I made the permanent decision to be openly autistic, even in real life. Even during burnout I tried to pass as neurotypical. I was physically and mentally exhausted by putting so much energy, time, and effort into trying to pretend to be something I wasn’t. It was like I was acting in a movie 24 hours and 7 days a week. That “aut” to be exhausting!

I am now openly autistic, online and offline. I took the mask off. I am now glad to be able to say that I am who I “aut” to be!

If you have questions, want to learn more, share your story, or say something else, say it in the comments, if you’d like. I’ll do my best to respond promptly. I love hearing from my readers. 🙂

Actually Autistic

Why I Hate Changes

I don’t like changes. Even when a change is made for the better, it still devastates me to know that a change was made.

When I am anticipating an event, I’ll have this “image” in my mind that I expect to see happen. For example, if I were to go on a vacation to a specific hotel tomorrow, and I had to relocate to a different hotel, that would be a change. Even if the second hotel was much nicer, I’d still dislike the change.

Keeping up with life is difficult for autistic people already. We live in an non-accommodating world where we must deal with sensory overload, Autism $peaks, and misunderstanding. As many autistic people have said, we live in a neurotypical world. A world that fails to accommodate and accept autistic people. (Speaking of this, I wrote a poem relating to this.)

Let’s get back to the reason why I don’t like changes.

I don’t like changes because they’re unexpected. And when something unexpected happens, I’ll be very stressed (which may even lead to a meltdown.) Another reason why I don’t like changes is because the “picture” in my mind of the upcoming event will no longer give me an idea of what’s going to happen.

I believe that other autistic people have explained why they dislike changes in a better way than I’ve explained it. Feel free to link to recommended websites/articles about this topic in the comments so I can include them in this article.

Actually Autistic, Blasts from the past, depression, Poetry

Tomorrow’s Sorrow, A Poem

This is a poem I wrote about my fear of terrible things happening in the future. I’ve pretty much overcome this fear, so this poem is pretty much a thing from the past (when I was extremely depressed and fearful of the days to come.) I still have these problems, but they’re nothing like they were before. Perhaps you’ll know more about me as I tell my story. Or, perhaps you won’t.

I wake up to another day,
With the memories of yesterday.
Yesterday was a day of sadness;
A day of gloom, a day of doom.
My fear of this sadness repeating itself is very strong.
For this has been going on far too long.
Each day I fear the sorrow of tomorrow.
Tomorrow’s sorrow will come.
It’s like a storm with no escape,
A sad life with no break.
How can I not fear
The sorrow of tomorrow?
Tomorrow’s sorrow is a mystery to me.
Tomorrow’s sorrow is what keeps me holding on today,
For the sorrow of tomorrow only becomes greater every day.
The only thing I wanted to do was stay asleep,
For I could escape reality in my dreams.
I tried to hide,
But that only made things worse inside.
There was no escape for me,
Nor was there a way I could end my misery.
I did not want the past to repeat itself,
Yet it did.
Yesterday’s sorrow came back to haunt me tomorrow.
To this day, the sorrow walks my way.
But I will win the battle.
The sorrow of tomorrow may remain to be my enemy.
The events of my past may still haunt me.
However, I will overcome tomorrow’s sorrow.
I already have. And I will not stop.

 

AAC, Actually Autistic, communication, my experience, nonverbal

Communication and Being Non-Verbal: A Post On How I Communicate

I know it’s been a while since I wrote my last post. However, I’m back, with a new theme on my blog. I am writing this because I want others to know how I communicate.

Usually, I can give short responses to things said to me most of the time. However, this is not always true. Sometimes I am incredibly overloaded by trying to speak. I know what I want to say, but I can’t say it. The words are locked inside of me. I appear to be ignoring the person who is talking to me, but I am not doing so on purpose. I know what the person said. I know how to respond, and what to say. Yet I can’t say anything.

Trying to communicate by speaking is difficult for me. Even saying the things that I can say sometimes, such as short sentences, can be impossible. Explaining that I need to type what I want to say would not be easy either, especially when so many people think that I can use speech to communicate (I’ve faked it many times. Many people assume I’m fully verbal.) I’m not. Sometimes, when I’m lucky, I’m semi-verbal but that doesn’t happen very often.

One of the reasons why I can’t communicate using speech at all sometimes is because I’m being overloaded. If I’m experiencing sensory overload, I will likely be unable to say anything. However, I can always type. One thing many people do not realise is that even though a person is unable to speak, they can almost always use a different method of communication. Aside from sensory overload, I simply can’t communicate at all by speaking sometimes. I don’t know why I can’t speak, but I’m no expert on why nonverbal Autistic people can’t always communicate using speech. And, even when I’m not being overloaded, I can become fully nonverbal. I do not believe that me going nonverbal always has to do with overload.

Typed communication is real communication. -Emily Frost

So, I will go fully nonverbal sometimes. This does not mean I can’t communicate. I can still type everything that I want to say (as I usually do.) I guess this will be something about my disabilities that I won’t understand for now.

Summary: I am usually pretty much nonverbal, yet somewhat able to use speech to communicate. However, there are times when I go fully nonverbal and I can only communicate by typing.

Actually Autistic

A Post On Being Non Verbal

I finally found the inspiration to write a VIP (meaning Very Important Post.) A post about how I communicate, and why this does not make me a “dumb” person.

Unless you have read my posts Speech Is Optional or I Do Not Want To Rewrite My Story, you have probably been thinking I’m a fully verbal person who does not need a keyboard to communicate anything beyond “yes,” “no,” and very simple phrases and sentences.

Well, ha! You’ve been mistaken! I, in fact, do need a keyboard/iPad to communicate.

I can usually say “yes” and “no” to answer simple questions. If a question requires an answer that’s more complex than that, I’ll need to type it. The only thing I can say is “I don’t know” because explaining that I need a keyboard to communicate would be difficult, especially when so many people do not know how limited my spoken communication abilities are.

I can’t actually speak anything beyond “yes,” “no,” “I don’t know,” short phrases/sentences, and meaningless echolalia. When I actually speak, I’m not saying what I want to say. However, when I can type what I want to say, there’s practically no limit to what I can say. By typing, I can share my real voice with you. I have tried to pressure myself to speak but that did not help much. I actually am just better off typing to communicate since what I speak is never what I want to say.

Before you assume I’m hopeless, dumb or [fill in an ableist/rude word here,] let me tell you a little bit about me.

-I can navigate my way through websites, apps, Apple devices, and the internet very well, even though I’ve never visited the website or downloaded the app before. I often end up teaching myself and others new things.

-I have an excellent memory. I can remember many details and facts, such as the date of manufacturing on an object or the layout of a house I visited once. I usually do not even have to try to memorize them. Call me an autistic savant if you want to, because I may just well be one!

-I can communicate by typing. My verbal communication abilities are 99% nonexistent, but my ability to communicate using an alternative method (such as typing) is not so limited.

-I can think complex thoughts, think in vivid, beautiful pictures, and understand the world well.

-I am artistic. I’m said to be very creative, and I do not disagree with this. I’m likely artistic because I’m autistic, which is not a bad thing.

-Finally, I’m not hopeless. Being autistic, nonverbal, and disabled does not make me a hopeless/dumb/etc person. Whoever said this says ableist, hateful garbage.

Anyway, I posted this to clear up a few things and to let other nonverbal Autistics know that they’re amazing people, no matter what their level of ability is. I love all of you the same. Allistics and Autistics alike deserve to be loved.

Advocacy, Disability, diversity, inclusion, Poetry, positivity

I Want To Live In A World, A Poem

This is my poem about inclusion and equal rights and opportunities.

I want to live in a world,

Where everybody is seen as a person,

Where everybody is seen as worthy.

I want to live in an inclusive world,

Where inclusion matters.

I want to live in an accepting world,

Where we are all accepted.

I want to live in an accepting world,

Where no one is rejected.

I want to live in a world,

Where equal opportunities are given to everyone.

I want to live in a world,

Where disabled people are accommodated,

Where Autistic people are not discriminated,

Where acceptance is virtue,

Where difference is not seen as a bad thing.

I want to live in a world,

Where we are all accepted.

I want to live in a world,

Where no one’s rejected.

However,

I am living in a world

Where things need to change,

Yet they stay the same.

I am living in a world

That I want to change for the better.

I am living in a world

Where I want to make things better.

I am living in a world

Where I want to play my part

In changing things for the better,

By writing this letter,

To myself and to the world.

The world where I live,

The world where things stay the same,

Yet they must change.

A Notice For Marie, Actually Autistic, nonverbal, Random Posts, Uncategorized

A Notice for “Marie”

This is a public post, but it is dedicated to someone who commented on my since-deleted blog actuallyautisticemily.wordpress.com. I hope that “Marie,” an anonymous commenter, will find this post because their comment meant a lot to me.

Dear “Marie,”

I’m Emily Frost. I am the writer of the post “Speech Is Optional.” I wanted to reclaim the old domain name of this blog so that I could reply to your comment, but I do not believe that will be possible. The reason why I could not reply to your comment is that you commented on my blog before I changed its domain name. My blog’s name was formerly actuallyautisticemily.wordpress.com and is now thestimmyautistic.wordpress.com. I do not know if you will ever find this post, but I can and will hope that you do because your comment meant very much to me. The comment below is not the comment I was referring to, but it is the only one I can find, so I hope that you can recognize it. This is my new blog. If you commented on my post “Speech Is Optional” in early July and claimed that your name was Marie, and if the comment below looks familiar to you, please let me know that you are “Marie” in the comments. Your comment means so much to me, and I apologize for losing the comment and not being able to reply. The “Marie” I am mentioning claimed to be “also Autistic and nonverbal.” If this is you, please let me know.

Marie’s comment

Nice post! I’ve always enjoyed reading your written work, and I am enjoying your new blog as well

Actually Autistic, Autism Acceptance, Autistic Pride, Disability, diversity, inclusion, nonverbal, Poetry, positivity

Decisions, Decisions, A Poem

[This is my poem about important decisions.]

Decisions, decisions

What are your decisions?

Acceptance,

Or ignorance?

Hate,

Or celebrate?

Love,

Or be in disgust?

Help,

Or let things not end well?

Accommodate,

Or discriminate?

Hate,

Or love?

Love,

Or hate?

Decisions, decisions

Have you made your decisions?

Accept,

Or reject?

Be in disgust,

Or choose to respect?

Chase your dreams,

Or give up?

Respect the way a person communicates

Or deliberately not accommodate?

Accomplish great things,

Or give in?

Fight for your rights,

Or let ableists win?

Let ableists win,

Or be the winner?

Be a giver,

Or be a stealer?

Be an enemy,

Or be kind and friendly?

Be ashamed,

Or choose not to hate?

Love yourself,

Or be your enemy?

Love others,

Or be their enemies?

Light it up blue,

Or red instead?

Discriminate and eliminate,

Or accommodate and celebrate?

Cure Autistic people’s way of living,

Or accept our way of being?

Decisions, decisions

What are your decisions?

Bully,

Or ally?

Be sad,

Or be happy?

Dehumanize neurodivergents,

Or accept neurodiversity?

Be someone else,

Or be who you should be?

Accept yourself,

Or stay in the dark?

Love yourself, and enter the light,

Or choose to remain in the dark?

Be discriminative and hateful,

Or have a kind heart?

Be inclusive,

Or be exclusive?

Do what’s wrong,

Or do what’s right,

And be a shining light?

Decisions, decisions,

You have made your decisions.

Autism Acceptance, Autistic Pride, Disability, diversity, inclusion, my experience, Poetry, positivity

Loving Life, A Poem

This is my poem about loving and living life.

I love my life.

I live my life.

I am Autistic-

That’s a reason why I love my life.

I am artistic-

That’s another reason why I love my life.

I’m loving life,

Living life,

One day at a time.

I live my life.

I live my life because I exist.

I share the story of my life.

I share my stories because my stories exist.

I like my life.

I like being myself

After all, I can never be anyone else.

Stimming makes me happy,

Stimming is another reason why I love my life.

Stimming makes me flappy

Flappiness is another thing that makes me love my life.

I live my life.

I love my life.

I am neurodivergent-

This makes me happy.

I am Autistic-

This makes me flappy.

I experience my life.

I experience life because life is beautiful.

I live my life

One

Day

At

A

Time.

Loving life is what I do

Living life is another thing that I do, too.

Living.

Loving.

Experiencing.

Stimming.

I love who I am.

I have no interest in being “normal.”

Abnormality is not a bad thing,

Being myself is spreading my wings

And flying by flapping,

One day at a time.

I truly love how my life is mine.

I am proud to be me.

I am happy when I am flappy

And flappy when I am happy.

I am…

Loving life because I’m Autistic,

Loving life because I am neurodivergent,

Loving life because I love and be myself,

In a world where I can be no one else.

Loving life, living life,

Loving myself and being myself.

Being no one else, but myself.

Actually Autistic, Disability, diversity, inclusion, my experience, nonverbal, positivity

I Am Not Awaiting Approval.

You may be wondering what I mean by “awaiting approval.” By “awaiting approval” I mean awaiting society’s “approval” of my existence. In the past, I would too often await approval from society, meaning that I would not be myself because I am likely not the person who would be approved of by society. After all, I’m autistic and very different from most people. However, I have realized that I do not need to be what’s considered “normal” to live. I cannot be anyone else, so I might as well decide to be myself.

Deciding to be myself and not hide that fact that I’m autistic was a major decision, a decision that would change my life and the way people would think of me. I was going to be much more relaxed, given that I would no longer pressure myself to do things like making eye contact and resisting stimming. However, as I have mentioned, this decision changed the way people thought of me. When people see me doing things such as stimming at a grocery store or avoiding eye contact, this will make them less likely to “approve” of me (meaning that they see me as a person.) But I have decided to no longer await approval. I cannot choose the thoughts other people have of me and I cannot change my neurology either (and even if I could, I would not.) It is okay to be myself, I have learned, and I do not need to hide a major part of who I am. Doing so exhausted me greatly, mentally and physically. I was very anxious and depressed when I always worried about passing and being approved of. It is okay if somebody sees me stimming. It is okay for me to explain that I am experiencing sensory overload when it happens. It is okay to be Autistic. It is okay to be myself. I approve of myself. Not everyone is going to approve of me, but that will not stop me from approving of myself.

There is more to life than passing as neurotypical and “awaiting approval.”

Ableism, Actually Autistic, Advocacy, Autism Acceptance, Autism Awareness, Autistic Pride, Disability, diversity, Poetry, Uncategorized

Awareness Continues: A Poem

This is my short poem about what “autism awareness” is actually about.

Awareness continues.

Awareness continues to discriminate.

It continues to discriminate by deliberately ignoring Autistic voices, including those that are not spoken.

Awareness continues to deceive.

Awareness continues to deceive by claiming to be a “good thing.”

Awareness continues to harm us.

Awareness continues to harm us by discriminating, hating, and silencing us, just to name a few examples.

Puzzle pieces, blue lights, “awareness;”

A plan for silencing Autistic people and eliminating our existence.

Using puzzle pieces to represent me truly puzzles me.

I am not puzzling. I am complete, and I am proud to be Autistic.

Every April, blue lights and puzzle pieces surround you and me,

Representing how being Autistic is a tragedy

To our friends and our families.

Awareness continues to search for a cure,

A cure that should not and likely will not exist.

A cure that ends our existence.

Awareness continues to deceive; people continue to support “awareness” despite the many Autistic people who are against it.

Awareness continues to actually be hate and discrimination.

Awareness is hate, discrimination, and not listening to Autistic people.

Awareness continues to anger me.

Sadden me, hurt me.

Awareness continues to claim to be “powered by love” when it is truly powered by hate.

Hating Autistic people for being Autistic.

Awareness continues to not be something that I will never support.

Awareness continues to deliver a “hate speech,” as some Autistics have said.

Awareness continues to be truly ableist.

Awareness is ableism because it discriminates against Autistic people.

Awareness needs a cure; Autistics do not.

I do not want or need a cure.

I and other Autistics need acceptance.

Awareness is deceptive.

Awareness is harmful.

Awareness is the real “tragedy.”

Acceptance is beautiful.

Acceptance is what Autistics need.

Acceptance continues to help us and support us.

Acceptance is the key.

Acceptance, not “awareness,” which is actually hate.

Actually Autistic, Advocacy, Autism Acceptance, Autistic Pride, deep thoughts, Disability, diversity, Uncategorized

I Do Not Want To Rewrite My Story

Some people may want me to be the exact opposite of who I am. If my story was rewritten, and if I was the opposite of who I am, then I would be a neurotypical, non-Autistic, non-disabled, and fully verbal person. I would speak to communicate, rarely stim, and be considered “socially acceptable” as a verbal, non-disabled person. But even if I had the choice to rewrite my story this way, I still would not.

You are likely wondering why I would not want to be non-disabled, verbal, and neurotypical. You also may be wondering why I would not want the “benefits” of being non-Autistic and non-Disabled. I would not be dyspraxic, so controlling my movements would be a lot easier. I would not be Autistic, so I would be considered much more “normal.” I would not have any of my disabilities, meaning that things would be so much better for me, right? Actually, the answer is “no.” If I rewrote my story, I would not be me. I am Autistic, and I do not know what it is like being neurotypical. I have no interest in knowing what it is like to be neurotypical and non-disabled. I am proud and happy to be the way I am. Being non-disabled would likely make many things easier for me, but being non-disabled would also be not being me. I consider being Autistic an opportunity, and I am proud of being Autistic. I do not want that to change. I am content with the way I communicate, which is typing. I do not have an interest in becoming verbal. I want to continue typing my words. The reason why I put quotation marks around “benefits” earlier is because I do not believe that rewriting my story to no longer be disabled would be a good choice. I see nothing wrong with being Autistic and disabled. As I have mentioned, I see many things wrong with discriminating against people. I do not want to let discrimination make me rewrite my story if I could and be someone who I am not. I enjoy my life. My story is unique, and does not need to be changed. I accept that I am Autistic, and I accept who I am. My story does not need to be changed.

AAC, Actually Autistic, Advocacy, Autism Acceptance, Autistic Pride, communication, nonverbal, Uncategorized

Speech Is Optional

Updated on July 16, 2018. Minor edits and links to a couple of articles that I wrote.

Non-speaking Autistics are often portrayed incorrectly as “unable to communicate” and “non-thinking.” This has happened far too many times, and I do not only believe that this must stop, I know that this must stop, as a person who types to communicate myself. “Non-speaking” refers to those with no speech, and those with little/limited speech as well. Non-speaking people can communicate, and once we find our preferred method of nonverbal communication, we can prove that we can communicate and think. Typed words are as important and worthy as spoken words, and this should be accepted. I can communicate; someone can talk to me, and I can type what I want to say to them. The fact that I can communicate by typing should not be seen as “unbelievable.” It is not a miracle that I can communicate by typing, typing is simply how I “speak without speaking.” The words of a person should not be judged by whether they are spoken or not because all methods of communication, verbal or nonverbal, exist. All methods of communication are methods of communication, and should be equally respected. I can type my words, stories, experiences, opinions, and anything else that I want to share. Non-speaking Autistics can think and communicate. I am thinking as I am writing this, and as you are reading this, I am communicating with you. I have decided to use typing as my preferred method of communication, and I have decided to take advantage of my ability to communicate by typing. I do not need to become verbal to matter. I am happy the way I am, and I am proud to be myself. I am Autistic, non-speaking, and proud. I love my life the way it is, and I do not want to change myself simply because I am not likely to be approved of by ableists. After all, I do not want to rewrite my story in a way that makes me not who I am.

Ableism, Actually Autistic, Autism Acceptance, Autism Awareness, Autism Speaks, Autistic Pride, Disability, diversity, inclusion, positivity

Why Autism Speaks Is Powered By Anything But Love

Warning: Autism $peaks, neurodiversity negativity, person-first language, and other disturbing content will be mentioned. Nothing graphic will be mentioned, such as types of abuse.
You might be wondering why I am against Autism $peaks, a very well-known organization. Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or one of Autism $peaks’s puzzle pieces,) you have probably heard of the controversy over Autism $peaks’s goals, intentions, and so on. There is actually a reason (or many reasons) why there Autism $peaks is a highly controversial group in the Autistic community (and why I’m against A$, or Autism $peaks myself. A$ is considered a hate group by many Autistics (certainly including myself.) This is what one Autistic person thinks of Autism $peaks.
Warning: Disturbing content ahead.
Autism $peaks believes in curing autism. That would probably involve things like genetic modification and other unnatural procedures. We do not need any of that. Autism $peaks is going down a dark path, and they want others to fall into their trap and also go down the dark path. The “dark path” was created by Autism $peaks, ableism (the discrimination against Autistic and disabled people,) and other negative things that I don’t even want to mention. The dark path looks like it’s bright and beautiful. That’s how it deceives you. Autism $peaks saying things like they’re “powered by love” is an example of this deception. Innocent people get lured into Autism $peaks’s trap all the time without realising what they’re supporting. Autistic people don’t need a cure because we bring diversity to what would be a boring place.
Autism $peaks is not run by Autistic people. The Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN’s) slogan is “Nothing About Us, Without Us.” Autism $peaks is a group about us, without us. They don’t have any (or many) Autistic people running their organisation, just a bunch of people who want to get rid of us.
Autism $peaks has called Autistic people broken, burdensome and beyond. That’s very degrading, ableist, and dehumanising. To Autism $peaks: Accept neurodiversity. Don’t change us, don’t dehumanise us, and don’t try to eliminate our existence. (You would have never been able to read this if I was eliminated. I’m thankful that some people accept neurodiversity. I’m thankful that I can speak for myself here.)
Autism $peaks uses puzzle pieces and the colour blue to represent us. The puzzle piece is degrading because it represents the belief that Autistic people aren’t people. It represents the [false] belief that autistic people are actually autistic puzzles. What’s wrong with the colour blue? It represents that only men can be autistic, and that’s not true because many Autistic women do exist. Anyone can be autistic, regardless of anything.
Autism $peaks uses person-first language. (As if I could separate my autism from myself and put it in my drawer!) Many people with autism Autistic people (such as myself) prefer identity-first language. I am Autistic, and I’m not a person with autism. I don’t have to add “my autism” to my vacation checklist.
Autism $peaks would have to make many changes to their group. They would have to light it up #Redinstead, change their logo to the neurodiversity symbol, accept neurodiversity, and much more.
There are other reasons why I don’t support Autism $peaks, and why other Autistic people don’t support them either. You can read other people’s opinions on Autism $peaks. The Autistic Self Advocacy Network is an excellent group to support. The dark path is filled with things like puzzle pieces, negativity and the colour blue. The brighter path (accepting neurodiversity) is filled with things like positivity, acceptance, and the colour red (instead.) The brighter path is the right one to walk down.

Actually Autistic, Autism Acceptance, Autistic Acceptance Month, Autistic Pride, Disability, my experience, Poetry, Sensory Overload, Sensory Processing Disorder

Experiencing Sensory Overload

If you were wondering how I experience sensory overload, I have explained it through poetry. I have many things to say, but they are “locked” inside me, and I can unlock what I want to say by typing it. And I have unlocked this for you. This is intended to take you into the experience of sensory overload at a mall, with the help of your imagination.

Imaging being at a mall.
Imagine what you are seeing,
Bright, colorful advertisements are everywhere, and they force you to look at them.
The store names cannot be ignored.
Nothing cannot be seen, you have to see everything at once.
Suddenly you become anxious and scared.
Image what you are hearing,
All sounds are at the same volume; the sound of others talking is as loud as your friend talking next to you.
The footsteps, the chattering, the music, the various noises…
They all sound equally loud, and it is extremely overwhelming.
Imagine the smells,
The smell of fragrance emerging from the perfume department, the smell of popcorn, the smell of a familiar food;
You smell everything all at once, and cannot distinguish the dozens of different smells that you are smelling.
Image what you are feeling,
The clothing tag on your shirt feeling like a needle poking your back,
The coldness of the room makes you shiver,
And when your slipper slips off, you feel the cold floor,
And it feels as if you are barefooted on ice.
And you are alone, you have no one to go to.
No one can help you, you are helpless.
You walk to the bathroom with a rapidly beating heart to calm down,
Only to be overwhelmed again.
The blow dryers are as loud as an airplane,
The flushes are as loud as air horns,
And you experience it all at once.
You cannot block out anything, you must experience everything.
Everything at once.
You are hungry and overwhelmed.
Miserable, alone, and you are nearly crying.
Your hands are shaking, your teeth are chattering.
You enter the cold food court, shaking.
You order food that you have never eaten before.
You sit down in a very crowded dining area, with noises, smells, and sights everywhere.
Your food shocks your taste buds with its strong, spicy flavor,
And you are unable to finish your food, still hungry.
You sigh a sigh of relief, knowing that you will now go home.
Your sensory experience is over, and you can finally relax.

Actually Autistic

What Does It Mean To Be Autistic?

Many, many people are Autistic. But what exactly does “Autistic” mean? What is autism and how does it affect a person? Well, you can stop here if you have been trying to #AskAnAutistic for the answers to these questions. (I’m Autistic myself, in case you are new to my website.)
Being Autistic comes with challenges and benefits. Most of the challenges come from society’s disapproval of Autistic people, the lack of acceptance and respect from some allistic (non-Autistic) people, ableism, and of course, Autism Speaks’ [puzzling] negativity. Being Autistic is not a bad thing. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disability which is likely genetic. There is no cure, and the search for a cure is disapproved of by me and many others in the Autistic community.
You might be wondering why I have never mentioned Asperger Syndrome. Asperger Syndrome is no longer a diagnosis, as it was removed from the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) in 2013 when the DSM-V was published. Asperger Syndrome was replaced with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD.) And I think that “Asperger’s” was a weird term for autism. I think that “Asperger’s” was too humorus of a term for a serious disability. Maybe that is why it was removed? This is just my opinion; some may agree with me and some may disagree with me.
Autistic people (NOT “people with autism”) are different. Our brains work differently. We may have difficulty with certain things, such as changes in routine, motor skills, figures of speech, and many other things. We love stimming. I will answer questions about the things I have just mentioned!
What is stimming? Everyone stims, but stimming is usually more “special” to Autistic people than it is to allistics and neurotypicals. Examples are rocking, hand flapping, spinning, using a fidget spinner, and lining up things. Autistic people may stim differently than allistic and neurotypical people. (In case you forgot, allistic means non-Autistic. Allistic people can be otherwise neurodivergent. Example: If Anna is ADHD, Anna is not neurotypical but is not Autistic either. Anna is allistic.). Stimming may mean that an Autistic person is happy, scared, anxious, stressed, bored, excited, and so on.
What are motor skills? Motor skills have to do with how well you can move, write, hold things, etc. Poor motor skills (a.k.a. dyspraxia) is the reason why I could never write neatly or color within the lines of my colouring books in my childhood, and why it is difficult for me to type today. Autistic people may or may not have difficulty in this area.
What about changes in routine? Autistic people usually have a “picture” in our minds of our routines. We are used to seeing that “picture” in real life, and when that “picture” is not the same, we may get upset. For example, if an Autistic person always woke up at 8:00 in the morning, but woke up at 9:30 today, that could be extremely upsetting. We hold on to these “pictures” of our routines. Drastic changes, such as moving to a new home or going to a new school, can upset us greatly.
What’s wrong with saying “person with autism?” Autistic people are Autistic, we do not have autism and we do not live with autism. We cannot cram it into our backpacks, we cannot hide it under our beds, we do not see autism as something that is separated from us. “Autistic” is our identity that we are proud of.
What is sensory overload? Sensory overload is when someone is getting too much input from their senses. Certain sounds, sights, smells, feelings, and tastes can trigger this. I am hypersensitive, meaning that I usually get too much input from my senses. Hyposensitvity is the opposite.
I may write a sequel to this, or I may add more to this post. I hope I have explained being Autistic in an easy to understand way.

Actually Autistic

Why I Am Proud of Being Autistic

Yes, I am proud of being autistic. I am about to tell you why I never tell myself that I’m a broken, burdensome puzzle because I am autistic.
I inspire other autistics by writing this. By just being autistic I bring hope to other autistic people. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with being autistic. Groups like Autism $peaks started the whole “being-Autistic-is-bad” rumour. I support and celebrate neurodiversity. I am proud of being autistic because I believe that I was actually meant to be autistic. I am not ashamed. I am actually autistic, and I am proud. Whether you are neurodiverse or neurotypical, you are still a human being, and I accept you. I can honestly and sincerely say that being autistic is not something to be ashamed of. To me, being autistic is actually a good thing. I’m autistic and I’m not a broken, burdensome puzzle piece. I am a writer who is said to be very talented by the people who read my written work. My brain is different from the brain of a neurotypical, and that is okay. I am neurodivergent, and I accept that. I accept the neurodiversity of everybody. I wrote this to share my story about my life as an autistic person, and to inspire others.

Actually Autistic

Shamelessly Autistic

Gone are the days when I always tried to pass as neurotypical. Gone are the days when I would deny being Autistic. Now I am openly and proudly Autistic/Neurodivergent.
I am openly and shamelessly Autistic. If you do not accept that, I do not care. Because I have chosen to be openly Autistic. I have the right to not hide the fact that I’m Autistic from the world. I’m not ashamed. I’m not afraid. I’m proud. People may stare at me in disgust when I stim (hand flapping, rocking, etc.) But I don’t care because I accept myself. Instead of telling myself I’m broken and burdensome, I accept my neurodiversity. Instead of hating other people for being autistic/neurodivergent/disabled, I accept them, respect them, and love them. Seriously, I don’t care what other people say about me being Autistic. I do not need groups like Autism $peaks dehumanizing me. I have the right to be shamelessly Autistic. I can speak for myself. And I will speak for myself. I speak for myself by writing this. I do not worry about passing as neurotypical because that is not me and I have the right to be openly myself. I am proud of being Autistic and I do not want a cure. I am Autistic, and I am not afraid to say so.
This is a short post, but it’s inspirational. I wrote this to share my story and to inspire others.

Actually Autistic

I Do Not Care: A Poem

Summary: This poem is about how I do not care about what the world has to say about being Autistic, disabled, different, or anything that I am.
cw: ableism
I do not care if society does not accept me.
Being myself does not bother me.
They do not see;
They do not see who I am.
They do not see me,
They see what they think of me.
I do not care about pretending to be “normal.”
I am me, and I am my own “normal.”
I stay away from all things ableist.
I am Autistic.
Some will laugh when I’m not listening.
Some will never be understanding.
I do not care;
I do not care what they say.
I never even listened to them anyway.
I do not care if people assume my life is miserable.
I do not care if some say my life is unsurvivable.
My life is my own.
Your life is your own.
I will not listen to a single lie
About my life.
About me.
I do not care if I am different.
Diversity makes a difference.
I am artistic,
I am Autistic,
And I do not care what they say.
I do not care about who they think I am.
They will think I’m worthless,
That I’m hopeless,
That I’m better off lifeless.
They will lie.
I will survive.
I will speak for myself, even if I must type to do so.
There are so many things that they do not know.
About me, about us.
As one said, “Nothing about us, without us.”
I do not care, I do not care, I do not care.
Ableism is full of lies and more lies.
Innumerable lies about my life.
Disability positivity is what I care about.
Acceptance is what I care about.
Love is what I care about.
I choose to walk down the bright path.
I choose to despise the dark path.
I choose to be myself.
I choose to not be ashamed of my disabilities;
I choose to do things with the best of my ability.
They said, “You’re a burden.”
They said, “You’re broken.”
I said, “I do not care.”
-Emily Frost

Actually Autistic

Neurodiversity Explained

If you’ve been trying to #askanautistic about neurodiversity, you have probably found what you were looking for. I am going to explain what neurodiversity is truthfully-not the way Autism $peaks describes it. The way an #actuallyautistic person (myself) describes it.
Neurodiversity is all about the acceptance of those who are autistic, ADHD, and so on. By supporting neurodiversity you believe that neurodivergent people are not broken, but rather different. “Neurodiversity is a result of normal variations in the human genome,” according to the definition of neurodiversity. There is nothing wrong with us and there isn’t anything wrong with accepting us either. Neurodiversity is something to celebrate and support. If it weren’t for groups like Autism $peaks, neurodivergent people such as myself would be accepted as human beings. If you want more information on neurodiversity, check out the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, this website, websites written by autistic people, and more. However, Autism $peaks is a horrible source for information about autism and neurodiversity because they say that autistic and neurodivergent people are broken and burdensome (which is so not true!) Light It Up Gold and support #REDinstead for autism acceptance. Instead of using puzzle pieces and the colour blue to represent autistic people, use the rainbow infinity (neurodiversity) symbol. And, use identity-first language when referring to autistic people unless the person prefers terms such as “person with autism” (haven’t you noticed that I say things like “I’m autistic” and “autistics” on this blog? That’s no coincidence. I use identity-first language. Calling myself a “person with autism” implies that my neurodiversity is not a part of me, and that is not true. Also, many autistic people, including myself, do not find identity-first language offensive.)

Actually Autistic

Would I Choose To Be Neurotypical If I Could?

The answer is: No.
As I have mentioned many times before, I am Autistic. But if I could be cured of autism, and even if the cure was right in front of me, I would still choose not to be neurotypical. Why?
I’ve always been Autistic. Every day of my life, since I was born. Being non-Autistic would be a major change in my life. I do not know what it is like to not be Autistic or disabled, but I do know that it would be different. I am happy the way I am, and I am proud of my identity as an Autistic and multiply disabled person (I wrote about this in my recent post Why I Consider Being Autistic An Opportunity.)
The title of the post I just mentioned also proves that I do not want to be cured. I consider being Autistic an opportunity, so why should I turn down an opportunity just to be the same as everyone else? I’m proud to be Autistic, so why would I want to be cured? I have an example below to represent how silly I think a cure for being Autistic is.
Warning: awful example.
Chelsea took a science test. She got a score of 100, as always. She is proud to be gifted in science, and has never had any grades lower than 94 in science class. The next day, her teacher, Mr. Emerson, brought a special pen to science class that would cure Chelsea of her ability to ace science class. This special pen can guarantee that Chelsea will always get failing grades in science class. Her teacher asks, “Chelsea, would you like to use this pen for science class? Your high grades are burdening the other students, and if you use this pen, you will always have failing grades.” Chelsea says, “No, thanks. I am proud of my grades in science class, but that does not mean I think that I am worth more than everyone else. I do not need bad grades in science class. I have been able to ace science class my whole life, and if that were to change, I would not be me anymore.”
Hopefully my example helped you understand how silly a cure for being Autistic really is. Once again, I accept myself, and I do not want to be cured. I’m proud to be Autistic, disabled, and different.

Actually Autistic

What Is #Redinstead?

What exactly is #REDinstead? You can #askanautistic (such as myself.) I hope that I have explained #REDinstead.

Content warning: Reference to Autism $peaks and their intentions.

 
Autism $peaks is a dehumanising and controversial organization in the Autistic community. Autism $peaks (which will be referred to as A$ in the rest of this article) created Light It Up Blue, which is not a good thing, yet it is still very popular and well-known. Light It Up Blue gives me (and many other Autistics) the blues. Light It Up Blue, Autism $peaks, using puzzle pieces to represent Autistic people, and autism “awareness” (which is actually hate) are not good things to support. So Autistic people came up with #REDinstead, which is associated with neurodiversity, a very neuro-wonderful thing which is all about accepting people with disabilities. Light It Up Red seems much more positive than Light It Up Blue, and it is. Light It Up Red is all about acceptance, love, and support of Autistic people, and Light It Up Blue is all about hate, negativity, looking for a cure for being Autistic, and other ableist things that I probably do not even want to mention. As an Autistic person, I support #REDinstead. I also support the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN), an organization that is truly incredible (I am not exaggerating, ASAN is truly professional, accepting, diversity-friendly, and very positive.)
Now that you know about Light It Up Red, you can support it! Wear red, spread the word, and do other things recommended by #ActuallyAutistic people. I choose to accept diversity. I am against Autism $peaks, using puzzle pieces to represent Autistics, ableism, and anything negative. I am Autistic, and I support Light It Up Red. And let’s not forget the cheerful rainbow infinity symbol, which represents hope and the diversity of neurodiversity.

Actually Autistic

I Remember: A Poem

This is my poem about the true story of how I once worried so much about passing as neurotypical.
I remember passing as NT,
How it greatly stressed me.
I would stare into people’s eyes
Even though it killed me inside.
I remember trying to be someone who is not me.
I would never dare to flap or spin or be me.
I would never dare to ask myself “Why.”
Why I felt like I was miserable inside
And okay on the outside.
I remember how being “normal” made me cry.
I remember how it stressed me inside.
I remember when I would never stim,
Always letting ableists win.
I remember the things I told myself.
“Don’t do what makes you happy
If it also makes you flappy.”
I remember hating myself,
Being ashamed of myself,
Not being myself.
I would keep a straight face while in misery.
I would always hide my sensory experiences.
I remember how much I hated life,
How I wanted a different life.
I remember hating being Autistic,
I remember wanting to be allistic.
I remember the suffering.
The pain, the self-hate, the shame.
I did not forget.
Passing was unforgettable.
The misery was unimaginable.
The pain and stress was unbearable.
I remember how I decided to turn around,
How I stopped living life upside down.
I decided to make a choice,
A choice that would change my life.
I remember what I tell myself today.
To be shamelessly Autistic is to be without shame,
To be openly Autistic is to be without pain
To be proudly Autistic is to be without shame.
I no longer had to hide
Knowing that I would no longer be miserable inside.
Some will judge me,
But that will not stop me from being me.
I am Autistic, I am not allistic.
I am proud, I am happy, I am flappy.
And I remember the choice I made
That left me without pain and shame.
I am proud to be Autistic,
I am shamelessly Autistic,
I am openly Autistic,
And I am not ashamed.
I remember how I was ashamed of my disabilities ,
How I hated myself because I was disabled.
I now know that I can be proudly Autistic
Without shame and self-hate.
I now know that I can be openly Autistic
With self-acceptance and an identity to be proud of.
I remember passing as non-disabled,
Which will never happen again. Never.
-Emily Frost

Actually Autistic

I Am Proudly Disabled.

I am not neurotypical. I am not non-disabled.
So, what am I? Proudly and openly Autistic, neurodivergent and disabled. I’m not ashamed of being myself. I am special, and I am the only me out there. Being someone else, specifically someone who is non-disabled, is not my goal. Enjoying life, accepting everyone, helping others, knowing God, and being the best I can be are my goals. I do not need to waste my time trying to pass as non-disabled. I used to worry about passing as non-disabled, and that ruined me. Passing as non-disabled stressed me, depressed me, and ruined my life. I would hide my sensory overload when I experienced it, and I would hide every disability that I had. I would not be myself, and that made me miserable. I will never, ever worry about trying to pass as “normal” ever again. I am disabled, and I must accept that. I can not change it. The serenity prayer says “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” I will accept being disabled and Autistic, which is something I cannot change. I have the courage to change what I can change, and I change myself often to make me a better person each day. And I have wisdom to know that being Autistic and disabled is not something that I can change, but my attitude towards my disabilities can change (and it did.) Now, let’s go back to what I said about being proudly disabled and Autistic.
You may be wondering why I am proud of my disabilities. Disabled people are sometimes seen as “less than human.” Ableism has to stop, and it needs to stop now. My disabilities are a part of me, so the best choice to make is to embrace them and be proud of them. If I cannot do those things, I can still see my disabilities in a positive way. Ableist people have treated us unfairly. We deserve the same rights. Our disabilities do not make us as worthless as a ripped piece of paper. (Sorry, that was the best example I could think of.) I believe that it is okay to be openly disabled, whether you are in front of millions of people or just yourself. I would never say that my disabilities made me a bad person. I am actually glad that I can help other disabled people feel less alone. 20% of the population is disabled, if I am not mistaken. I just happen to be with 20 percent of the population. I am not ashamed of being myself. I am proud to be who I am; an Autistic and multiply disabled writer, blogger, and disability advocate. Remember, there is nothing wrong with being you.

Actually Autistic, Uncategorized

Why I Consider Being Autistic An Opportunity

You may be wondering why I consider being Autistic an opportunity. Many people think that it being Autistic = being weird. The truth is, we are not weird, just different. I will explain why I consider being Autistic an opportunity in this article. I believe that by doing this I can inspire other Autistic people and their supporters, and I love inspiring others. Sometimes there is nothing better than inspiration on a gloomy day, don’t you agree?
I consider being Autistic an opportunity because of many different reasons. First of all, I have an identity as an Autistic person, and there are only a few things I love more than identities. I have a group of people that I belong in, and because of that, I feel special. I am also different, and diversity makes the world better. If we did not exist, the world would be a boring place. No one would have special interests that would benefit humanity. No one would see the point in stimming. There are so many good things about being Autistic that I am actually thankful for being Autistic sometimes. I do not know what it is like to be neurotypical, but all I know is that I would not be me. I would not be Emily. I would be someone else. To be honest, I actually hated being Autistic in the past. That mistake made me learn a lesson; that I should be proud to be Autistic!
To all of the non-Autistics reading this:
I am not trying to make you feel bad about not being Autistic. I believe in equality among everyone. You can also be proud to be yourself! Whether you’re Autistic or not, you are special and unique, and you can be proud to be yourself. I have chosen to accept and be myself, and anyone can choose to do so.

Actually Autistic

Special Interest Of The Year 2017: Autism & Neurodiversity

My special interest has been neurodiversity the whole year. I’ll tell you about some of the things I’ve learned so far. This year’s special interest post will be a list of the things I’ve learned.

-I’ve learned many things from the autistic community.

-I understand being autistic in ways I never did before.

-I’ve learned some new terms.

-I’ve learned so, so many new things about autism and neurodiversity.

-I’ve learned many more things relating to how Autism Speaks is harmful to Autistics.

-I’ve learned more about stim toys. (I have quite a few of them, and I still want more.)

-I have learned that it’s okay to be autistic, and that I should accept that. (I pretty much do, but even now I sometimes feel bad about it due to ableism.)

 

I know this is a short post, but since I have so many posts on autism and neurodiversity on here anyway, I thought I would keep this short in the same way I keep all of my Special Interest Of The Year posts short. Basically, I’m a neurodivergent person whose special interest is neurodiversity.

Actually Autistic

2017 Hiatus

I’ll be on hiatus from blogging for a while. I will return again in December. I have enjoyed writing here, and I hope you have enjoyed what I write here as well. This is nothing permanent; it is a temporary hiatus. I am looking forward to returning soon! I wanted to take a break for no particular reason, so I did. Feel free to leave comments can otherwise interact with my posts (you may always do so.)

Actually Autistic

How You Can Be Kind Today

-Do kind things, such as opening a door for somebody.
-Say something nice about someone, (e.g. “I love your shirt!)
-Be kind to yourself.
-Ask someone you know if they need help.
-Don’t judge someone by their appearance.
-Read this article for more information on how to be kind, if you’d like. I always try to be kind and I think that is a great goal to have.

Actually Autistic

Happy Independence Day (2017)

America Independence Day Celebration Statu
Happy Independence Day! (Image: Pixabay)
Actually Autistic

Summertime: A Seasonal Poem

Summertime…
Though the heat of the summer is sometimes terrible,
The fun of the summer is sometimes unimaginable.
Eating popsicles by the beach is always fun,
As well as escaping during a nice vacation.
The sun’s out, and so are you,
Unless you think that indoor fun is awesome too.
Staying indoors is also cool;
The home will be cool, and so will you.
Summertime is here now.
It is now time to surf the waves and take a break
From the effort you put into life during the other seasons.
Summertime is the time to relax,
The time to enjoy the moment,
The time to be happy,
In the same way you can be happy
Throughout the seasons;
Enjoying what each season has to offer,
And making the most out of what matters.

Actually Autistic

Happy Autistic Pride Day 2017!

As of today, it’s Autistic Pride Day. I hope your day has been great so far!

🌈 Happy Autistic Pride Day! Remember that being autistic is not something you should EVER be ashamed of. 🙂

Actually Autistic

My (Incomplete) Fidget Spinner Collection!

2018 update: New pictures!

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Actually Autistic

My Special Interests Explained

One of my autistic traits is having special interests. I’ll explain the whole special interest thing using my own terminology. (It’s an autistic thing.) You probably won’t find my special interest terminology anywhere else, though. 🙂

Special interests-the interests I spend lots of time on, like writing, autism, blogging, etc.

Mild interests-things that I am interested in, but don’t spend so much time on, such as reviewing, stargazing, etc.

Dormant interests-former special interests that I become interested in again.

Forbidden interests-former interests that I do not want to be associated with. I do not like hearing about them, reading about them, etc.

Probable interest-something I mention a lot that may become a special interest-it’s basically the early stage of a special interest.

Secret interest-a special interest that I rarely or never mention.

Typical interest-an interest that isn’t any stronger than the interest a neurotypical would have (since I’m neurodivergent, this doesn’t apply to me.)

Actually Autistic

Happy Autism Acceptance Month!

Credit: MissLunaRose

Warning: this post mentions Autism Awareness, and may contain references to curing autism, abusive therapy, and false beliefs about autism. However, types of abuse were not mentioned.

I know April’s almost over, but it is still Autism Acceptance Month. You are probably wondering why didn’t mention awareness. I will explain this to you in this article.

Autism Awareness Month was created by Autism Speaks, a group that hates Autistic people. They do not accept us and they say negative things about us as well. They have called us “burdens to society” when they are the actual burdens to Autistic people. “Light It Up Blue” is not a good thing to participate in as it was created by Autism Speaks, a hate group. “Light It Up Red,” or “Red Instead” is something you should support and participate in instead. “Light It Up Red” was created by Autistics themselves and promotes autism acceptance, something that I certainly celebrate. The fact that some Autistic people aren’t even treated like humans makes me very sad. We are human beings. We are not puzzles or burdens or anything like that. Autism did not stop me from being a writer. In fact, it may be what made me a writer. Neurotypicals can still be great people-I know many incredible neurotypicals. But Autistics need acceptance, not awareness. I have compared acceptance to awareness below. This is just a sample comparison.

Awareness supports:

-The belief of Autistics basically being worthless

-Abusive Autism Therapy (this traumatises people and it is wrong.)

-Believing in curing autism (this is ridiculous and offensive.)

Acceptance supports:

-Accepting the existence of Autistic people

-The belief of Autistic people being amazing, just the way we are.

-Protesting against searching for a cure for autism

-The love, acceptance, and respect of Autistic people.

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) is an excellent group. I recommend supporting and donating to them.

Actually Autistic

Springing Into Spring: A Seasonal Poem

Today is the day,
The day I will be springing into spring.
Soon it will be time to spring forward,
For there will be no more falling back
Until fall comes once again.
The flowers are returning,
The leaves are returning to the trees.
No traces of fall and winter will remain.
Gone are the days when I would need to wear a sweater,
As there will be warmer weather.
The joy of spring won’t last forever,
For we will need to make room for the summertime.
So, with the seasons I made a little rhyme,
To remind you that it is time;
It is time for spring to thrive.
Springing into spring is what I will do,
And perhaps springing into spring will be something
That you’ll do, too.

Actually Autistic

Winter Weather: A Seasonal Poem

Winter is here.
I can feel the winter weather;
The breeze that makes it colder.
I’ll soon be celebrating Christmas and the New Year,
For the holidays are very near.
The holidays will bring me cheer
As they may do to you,
And the excitement that comes to me
May come to you as well.
Winter weather is delightful.
The cold days won’t last forever,
So it’s best to enjoy it, as we gather together.
Winter weather tells me the holidays are almost here;
Winter weather makes the fire from the fireplace delightful.
Winter weather is delightful,
And I am glad that winter is here.

Actually Autistic

Fall: A Seasonal Poem

I hear the leaves rustling,
The excitement happening,
The start of a new season.
To me, there is a reason
Why this season is called fall.
The leaves will fall, after all.
I can watch the birds migrate
As some of the animals hibernate.
Fall is here.
It’s time to say farewell,
To the heat of the summer,
And the sunny days as well.
The leaves fall,
The birds call each other,
Saying that it’s fall.
Thanksgiving will come soon,
As I drink my egg nog this afternoon.
I’ll be looking out the window in my room,
Watching the plants fall, as they will no longer bloom.
Until winter arrives, I’ll enjoy this season,
And the next one too, for no particular reason.

Actually Autistic

Special Interest Of The Year: Air Conditioners

This is the second article in my “Special Interest of the Year” series.

Air conditioners are very important. They keep us cool in the hottest days of the summer. Many people who have them do consider them to be important. However, I obsessed about everything that had to do with air conditioners. I even memorized how they work!

I have memorized every part of an air conditioner, and I have also memorized what they do. Air conditioners work in a way similar to the way refrigerators work (here’s the article, if you’re curious.) I don’t have the spoons to explain it myself, so I will let an image explain it for you. I am not the copyright holder of this image.

 

proxy.duckduckgo.com
I believe the source of this image is energy.gov, a website.
Actually Autistic

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! I’ll be on hiatus from this blog for a few weeks. I have been on hiatus for a while, and I will be ending it soon.

 

…Trick or Treat!…

Actually Autistic

Links To My Online Presences

This is a list of the places where you’ll be able to find me online. I’ll update it periodically.

 

Main blog: http://www.thestimmyautistic.wordpress.com
Religious blog: www.mychristianityjourney.wordpress.com
NADAS: NADAS website, @NADASproject on Twitter
Personal Twitter: @StimmyAutie
Personal Instagram: stimmyautie
wikiHow account 1: Emily Hannah Frost
wikiHow account 2: @Windyday!
Wattpad: @stimmyautie

Uncategorized

I Am Done Waiting

Update: Fixed a typo.

11 years ago, as of now, Autism $peaks was founded. For many years, the voices of Autistic people have been ignored. Every April, for years, Autistic people are pitied and our voices are ignored. Not much has changed. It is 2016, and our voices are still being ignored. Autism Speaks still wants to cure us. Blue lights and puzzle pieces are still used to represent Autistics. Autism Speaks continues to give a hateful message. It’s been 13 years since Autism Speaks was founded, but Autistic people have been disliked and discriminated for many more years.

I am Autistic. And I am done waiting.

Autistic people have been waiting for the day when red lights and rainbow infinity symbols are used to represent us, and the Autistic Self Advocacy Network is the organization that receives the support and donations rather that Autism $peaks. The day when Autism Awareness Month is Autism Acceptance Month. The day when people light it up red for autism acceptance, and companies support ASAN instead of Autism Speaks.

That day has not come yet, after all these years. I can only hope that this day will come soon. Here’s how you can help this day come sooner:

-Use red lights instead of blue lights for Autism Acceptance in April.

-Use rainbow infinity symbols as an alternative to the puzzle piece.

-Spread the word in Autism Acceptance and why it is better than awareness.

-Read from the Autistic community for advice.

-Celebrate Autism Acceptance Month.

-If you are/if you think you are Autistic, consider sharing that you are autistic with the world, if you can.

There are many other things you can do as well, but just doing these things and playing your part in making this day come closer will help the Autistic community.

Actually Autistic

Bedroom Organization Tips (With A Little Humor)

…got clutter?

A messy room is a horrible thing to see. But with the help of this list, your room will look amazing! I am sick and tired of being disorganized half the time, and if you’re like me, you probably are too. The list has been written below.

1. Pick up anything on the floor that shouldn’t be there.
Clothes, candy wrappers, trash-these are just a few examples of things that can make your room look like a landfill. All you have to do is tosh the clutter in the trash or put it where it belongs.
2. Organize your bookcase.
A messy bookcase can be very painful to look at. I arrange my books by size, and I believe that this is a good way to organize books on a bookcase.
3. Make your bed.
Bedrooms are probably called bedrooms because the bed is the main object in the room. And if a bed is not made, your whole room can look like a disaster.
4. Fold your clothes.
If unfolded clothes are piling up in your room, you can be a hero by folding them and putting them where they should be.

Actually Autistic

What’s Wrong With Person-First Language?

I’ll explain what’s wrong with saying things like “person with autism” in this article.

Autism is a part of #actuallyautistic people. We don’t have a box of autism that we carry around with us. We don’t forget to bring it. We don’t lose it. It isn’t separated from us. And finally, many of us don’t like to be called people with autism. Saying “person/people with autism” is like saying “person with Christianity.” “I am a Christian” is what I would say, not “I am a person with Christianity.” Something is off about the way “person with Christianity” sounds, right? The same goes for “person with autism.” It doesn’t sound right because it isn’t right. Like most people with autism Autistic people, I use and prefer identity-first language (regarding autism, anyway.) I’m not a person with autism. I don’t have autism. I don’t bring autism with me. I am Autistic.

Actually Autistic

Why Am I Alright With Being Openly Autistic?

Credit: MissLunaRose

First of all, there is no reason to be ashamed of being autistic, although I was once ashamed. (Shame on you, Autism $peaks, for making me once ashamed of being myself.) By not hiding my autism I am bringing hope to others out there, and I am much more relaxed when I do not have to pass as neurotypical (Who started the whole “There-is-something-wrong-with-being-autistic” thing anyway?) I believe that it is okay to be different, and I accept the diversity of everyone. I may be different, but I am a human being. And finally, more and more people are being diagnosed with autism. Being myself does not make me a burden, a puzzle, piece, or a worthless existence. It makes me who I am.

Actually Autistic

Acceptance 101: Acceptance Matters

This is one of my rants. It’s about Autism $peaks.

I am so sick and tired of people ignoring autism acceptance. Autism $peaks continues to win by spending way too much money advertising their trash on autism. They don’t care at all about helping people. They just care about money, greediness, advertising their garbage, and hating us. I wish that they went out of business because they are the real burdens. Autistic people aren’t the burdens. Sometimes I wonder if they are actually too hateful to know that what they are doing is wrong. And they think that we are just puzzles, not human beings. Using puzzle pieces to represent Autistic people puzzles me. I want to stay very far away from A$. There’s no reason to support them. They are 50% greed and 50% evil. Don’t support Light It Up Blue, using puzzle pieces to represent Autistics, or A$. They are not a good group. They only spend 4% of their [huge] budget on family services and they consider themselves a charity.

So what should you do instead? Red instead, it’s that simple.

Actually Autistic

Happy Independence Day!

July, America, American, Blue, Country

Happy Independence Day! I hope your day has been great. 🙂 (Image: Pixabay)

Actually Autistic

Autistic Pride Day 2016 Is Here!

I am very excited. Why? Because today, June 18, is Autistic Pride Day! I was just reminded now. I usually forget about holidays until I am later reminded of them. As I was typing this, my calendar notified me of Autistic Pride Day. Today I will celebrate by writing this post to spread awareness of Autistic Pride Day. Very excited, but I am not sure how I will actually celebrate. Today (and every day) I will be proud to be #ActuallyAutistic. There is no reason to be ashamed. Share, like, or comment to spread the word and show support if you’d like!

Actually Autistic

Acceptance 101: A Brighter Future?

Some continue to shine blue light everywhere. Some people continue to donate to A$. Some people continue to support autism awareness. But there are still people who see past the blue light and actually support autistic people. I am one of those people who see past the blue light. I see red instead of blue. And maybe you do too. My blog is a good source for information on autism acceptance and more. These people are not aware of supporting things like the abuse of autistic people, finding a cure for autism, and more garbage. If you support Autism $peaks, you aren’t helping autistic people. You’re harming us and depressing us. I don’t blame you for supporting them innocently (if you do.) I actually thought they were a good group when I first heard about them. More and more people are being aware of autism acceptance. I enjoy writing about autism acceptance. Writing is one of the ways I play a part in autism acceptance. Who do you support? Do you support ASAN or Autism $peaks? I support acceptance, respect, love, and all things positive. I don’t support saying things like “Autistics are burdens” or “End autism now.” In fact, I strongly disagree with hating autistic people. If you hate autistic people, you hate me. If you hate autistic people, you hate God’s creation. If you hate autistic people, you are hating millions of great people. I think that autism acceptance will continue to be known by more people. Here is a list of things you can do to spread the word on autism acceptance:

-Write letters to companies that support Autism $peaks.

-Tell friends and family.

-Write about autism acceptance.

-Protest at Autism $peaks events.

-Explain Autism $peaks’ intentions to people.

-#askanautistic and #actuallyautistic are great places to find autistic people.

Actually Autistic

The Diversity Of Neurodiversity

Many people have a picture of someone rocking and flapping in their heads when they think of Autistic people. While this may be true in some cases, it is not true in all cases. There is much diversity involved in neurodiversity. Some Autistic people can keep on talking for hours while some use typed communication. Some Autistic people may spin in circles, and some may spend hours researching things related to anything. And many neurodivergent people aren’t Autistic; some may be ADHD, OCD, etc. Many people can be considered neurodivergent, not just Autistic people. Autistic people can be very different. We are not all people who rock back and forth while flapping hands and learning about trains. Many people are surprised to discover that someone they know is Autistic or otherwise disabled or neurodivergent. I am not surprised when I discover this about someone; it is a common thing that needs more acceptance. So what I am trying to say is that neurodivergent people (and neurotypical people) are diverse and unique.

Actually Autistic

Autism Acceptance: Why I Support It

I want to stay far, FAR away from Autism $peaks, Autism Awareness, using puzzle pieces to represent autism, and Light It Up Blue. When I discovered Autism $peaks, I thought they were helping us (thankfully I didn’t support them in any way!) Until I did a little more research and realized that they are a horrible group. Below is a list of reasons why I want to stay far away from things like Light It Up Blue and A$ (Autism $peaks.)

1. A$ is a hate group.

Me and many other autistic people know that A$ is a hate group. They want to end autism, believe that autism is a horrible thing, and they just hate us. And they say that they are “powered by love” when they are powered by hate.

2. I am an autistic supporter of autistic people.

If I am going to support Autistic people, I should stay away from things like puzzle pieces, A$, etc. They say and do things that are very degrading to Autistic people.

3. The “puzzle piece” and the “autism awareness ribbon” are from A$ and represent the belief of Autistic people being burdensome puzzles, not human beings.

4. The Autistic Self Advocacy Network is against A$.

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) is a group I trust, so if they say that A$ is bad, I believe them.

5. A$ only spends 4% of their massive amount of money actually helping people.

A$ spends an enormous amount of money for advertising, making them well-known and trusted. They do not care about helping people, just advertising their stupid garbage about autism and Autistics while good groups like ASAN spend more of their money actually HELPING people.

6. “Light It Up Blue” represents the belief that only boys and men can be autistic.

This is not true. Autism does not affect only one gender.

7. Acceptance is far more important than awareness.

Autism awareness is all about A$ making people aware of their horrible beliefs about autism, whereas acceptance is about accepting Autistic people.

Ableism, Actually Autistic, Burnout, Neurotypical Passing

I’ve Been Experiencing Burnout…

Ableism has made me feel horrible about being autistic lately. I want to stay positive, but ableist people caused me to have an autistic burnout. What exactly is an autistic burnout? I am about to explain that to you.

For a while, I have been experiencing autistic burnout. I have been working way too hard on trying to pass as neurotypical. Passing as something that you’re not is hard work. Actually, it’s too hard. It is very stressful and it is physically and mentally exhausting. I have mentioned being openly and shamelessly autistic, but that freedom I thought I had was taken away from me by ableist people who push me past my limits by wanting me (and practically forcing me) to pass as neurotypical. Because of autistic burnout, I just want to rock back and forth under a weighted blanket in a dimly lit, quiet room away from everybody. I do not hate being autistic, I just hate the fact that many people will not accept my differences. Autistic burnout is when an autistic person worries so much about passing as “normal” or neurotypical. The “side effects” of worrying about passing as neurotypical are stress, anxiety, and a few other things. Autistic burnout is not the most pleasant experience, and I’m doing all I can to stop worrying about passing as neurotypical. I am put under so much pressure having to pass as neurotypical. I don’t want to pass. I want to be openly and shamelessly Autistic, but ableism is really bringing me down. Hopefully I can find the courage to be openly Autistic. Trust me, it takes a lot of courage to even say that you’re autistic to somebody. (Ugh, ableism.) Luckily, I am trying to stay away and have nothing to do with what ableist people and organizations say about me. I am learning to [re] accept myself as an autistically neurodivergent person (lol!) You do not have to worry about me, everything is almost under control. I will choose to be myself and I will choose to be openly and shamelessly Autistically neurodivergent, (just the way I should be.) Remember, if you’re autistic or otherwise neurodivergent, you really do not have to worry about passing as “normal.” You have never been neurotypical, and you never will be. So the best choice to make is to accept yourself and your neurodiversity. (To be honest, my own articles inspire me to not be ashamed of being Autistic when I’m experiencing burnout.) You can learn from others about autistic burnout as well (I do not know much about it, I just know that it is a result of being Autistic and trying to pass as neurotypical at the same time.)

Ableism, Actually Autistic, Autism Acceptance, Autistic Pride, Random Posts, Rants

Autism is Not A Tragedy

I am truly tired of people saying that being autistic must be terrible. People like this may say things like “I’m sorry you’re Autistic.” There is no reason why people should think that being autistic must be a tragedy. I’m autistic and I always have been. My life is not a tragedy. Ableism is the real tragedy. Ableism is discriminating people because of their disabilities. Ableism is not funny. People sometimes use “autistic” as in insult. That is an example of ableism. I am proud of being Autistic, as I have said before. I’m openly Autistic, and I do not care at all about what ableist people say about me. I’m Autistic. That is not a typo. Being autistic is not a tragedy, and being disabled does not make anybody a burden. I accept everyone, and I accept myself (yes, I also accept my neurodiversity.) Autistics are not “worthless” or “broken,” nor are we anything else that ableist people say we are. It’s okay to be yourself. Even if that means you’re Autistic or otherwise disabled. Our lives are not tragedies…our lives also matter.

Ableism, Acceptance 101, Actually Autistic, Autism Acceptance, Autism Speaks, Autistic Acceptance Month

Acceptance 101: How To Support Autistic People During Autism Acceptance Month

You might be wondering how you can support autistics. Don’t worry, you have asked the right Autistic for information on how to support acceptance!

1. Spread the word on A$.

A$ is not a good group, as I have mentioned in previous posts. You may want to explain that A$ does more harm than good to autistics to someone you know that supports A$.

2. Write to companies that support A$.

Many companies support A$, and if you explain that they are not a good group, they may turn around.

3. Write about autism acceptance.

Whether you’re autistic or not, you can write about neurodiversity and the acceptance of it.

4. Light it up red and walk in red instead. 🙂

Light it up red is a good thing to support if you want to accept autistics. Light it Up Gold and Tone It Down Taupe are other examples of campaigns to support.

5. (For autistics) Don’t be ashamed of being autistic.

If you don’t accept being autistic yourself, you probably will not accept other autistics either. Accept yourself, and know that you are neurodiverse for a reason. You are amazing. There’s no reason to be ashamed of being yourself.

6. Support the alternatives to A$.

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network and the not-so-well-known Acceptance 101 Project are good organisations to support.

7. #Askanautistic about acceptance.

I’m #actuallyautistic (and maybe you are too.) My blog is a good source for info on autism acceptance, but many others, such as MissLunaRose, are excellent resources for autistic people and allies.

8. Get involved in autism acceptance.

Writing about acceptance and spreading the word on acceptance are two examples of how you can do this.

writer's block notices

Update: Writer’s Block

I won’t be writing this month due to writer’s block. If you’d like, you may read my previous posts while I find the inspiration to write a new post. 🙂

Ableism, Actually Autistic, Autism Speaks, Disability, Poetry

To Autism $peaks: A Poem

This poem/letter is about Autism $peaks. It may contain references to disturbing things such as ableism and person-first language. It was written to Autism $peaks.

 

To Autism $peaks,

You do not let Autistics speak.

Everything you do is against us.

You do things that are about us, without us.

I know that you want to keep us away.

You are basically telling us, “Go away.”

You say that we should not exist.

Honestly, I’ve never heard anything more ableist.

To Autism $peaks,

I know what you are doing.

I know what you are wanting.

You want to end our existence.

You want us to no longer exist.

Dehumanisation is what you support.

Acceptance is not what you support.

Ableism is what you support.

Autism is not something you accept.

Finding a cure is what you want to do.

Just imagine if I wanted to do that to you.

You lure people into your trap

And then they are brainwashed by your trash.

To Autism $peaks,

Everything you say is a lie.

Do I mind? YES, I MIND.

You are anything but kind.

You are the exact opposite of nice.

You say that you’re powered by love

When you’re powered by anything but love.

Dehumanization, discrimination, ableism-

Those are the things that you are powered by.

We tell the truth.

You tell lies.

You call us “broken.”

You call us “burdens.”

Your list of goals is on the list

Of things that are ableist.

To Autism $peaks,

Once again, you do not let us speak.

You silence us, you ignore us…

Your goal is to eliminate us.

Your goal is to disprect us.

You use person-first language.

You do not think that we are human beings.

You think that we are puzzle pieces.

You say that we are “puzzled to be solved”

When we aren’t puzzles to be solved.

To Autism $peaks,

You know what you are doing to us.

I know what you intend to do to us.

You want to research us so that you can cure us.

Who are we? We are Autistic.

I am Autistic.

I am artistic.

I am against everything you say and do,

And that is because we matter too.

Yes, Autism $peaks, I am writing this to you.

To Autism $peaks,

You know that you’re the reason why we suffer.

We don’t suffer from autism, we suffer from your ableism.

You alienate us.

You talk against us.

Would I end this? Yes, I would.

I would truly end this if I could.

You do not help us.

You do not accept us.

You do not support us.

You truly do hate us.

To Autism $peaks,

You are going down a dark path.

What you say about us is absolutely trash.

I am openly autistic,

Certainly artistic,

And I am also truly against ableist groups and people like you.

Acceptance 101, Actually Autistic, Disability

Acceptance 101: Acceptance Is In Your Hands

Do you choose to accept autistic people? Do you accept neurodiversity? Do you dislike Autism $peaks? If so, you are doing the right thing. As this article says, “Acceptance is an action.” I have chosen to accept autistics, being autistic, and neurodiversity. Acceptance is in our hands, and the same goes for neurotypicals. Anyone can and should support autism acceptance. Autism $peaks is walking down the wrong path. Accepting autistics can make the world a better place. Accept us. Don’t try to distance us from humanity. Autistics are human beings too. I hope that you choose acceptance, not awareness. Acceptance is in your hands. If you haven’t chosen to accept us, you can today. It’s never too late to accept us. There’s no need for a cure for being who we are. We have always existed and we always will. Accept us today. Maybe you should #askanautistic for more advice. But I’m doing all I can to spread the word on acceptance. Who’s going to light it up red instead with me? I hope you will!

Acceptance 101, Actually Autistic, Disability, Random Posts

Acceptance 101: [Confession] I Was Once Ashamed Of Being Autistic.

Believe it or not, I was once ashamed of being neurodivergent. I hated mentioning it and when autism was mentioned, I would try to change the topic quickly. I hated being Autistic and I forced myself to believe that I was neurotypical. I am no longer ashamed, and I accept neurodiversity (and being neurodiverse, of course.) I have learned to accept everyone.

The moral of the story:
It’s okay to be Autistic. I now know that there’s no reason to be ashamed. I am not a burdensome puzzle piece, and you aren’t either. I was once deceived by Light It Up Blue, and I will never listen to them again. My quote “I am Emily” was written below.

I am not a puzzle. I am not broken. I am not a burden. I am amazing. I am a person. I am me. I am Emily. -Emily Frost

I’m still experiencing writer’s block, and this is the only thing I could write. My confession of being ashamed of being Autistic has a message, which is explained in the moral of the story.

Actually Autistic, ADHD, Disability, Executive Dysfunction

Let’s Talk: Executive Dysfunction & ADHD

Note: My blog is becoming more organized.

My blog’s a mess. I have never tagged my posts, nor have I categorized them correctly. My bedroom is also a mess; the bed is usually a pile of blankets and sheets, clothes pile up in my closet and in the corners of my room, and the computer desk, where I sometimes write my posts, is covered in various office supplies half the time. I try to organize my room fairly often, but the clutter and disorganization always comes back. It’s like an endless cycle of neat and disorganized, continually repeating itself.

So you’re probably wondering why I let you experience a disastrously disorganized moment in my life in this post. Well, this is actually about executive dysfunction, something that Autistics and ADHDers sometimes have.

When you have executive dysfunction, staying organized is a nightmare. I must use things such as reminders and carefully plan everything I do. This makes busy days and unexpected events nightmares (which can lead to meltdowns) for me. I have a great long-term memory, but my short-term memory is an entirely different story. I usually forget what’s said to me within seconds after it was said. I think that this has something to do with executive dysfunction, but it may just be one of my many neurodivergencies.

Anyway, it’s really, really hard for me to concentrate. It’s almost as if I have to pay to pay attention. This is more of an ADHD thing, but since ADHD and executive dysfunction are usually co-occurring neurodivergencies, I’ve decided to mention both in this article.

Disclaimers:

#1: As I am new to the topic of executive dysfunction, I don’t know that much about it yet. As I learn more about it as I put further research into neurodiversity, I may write a second article, or edit this article.

#2: Many of my articles are based on my own experience. Therefore, I can’t speak for everyone.

#3: I’m self-diagnosed as possibly ADHD. I don’t know if I am or not. And I most likely won’t get a diagnosis/evaluation anytime soon.

**Before I go, I just wanted to let you know that I plan on organizing this website eventually.**

Actually Autistic

Happy New Year 2016!

Happy New Year, New Year'S Day

Happy New Year! (Image by Pixabay)

Christmas, Holiday Discussions, Holidays

Christmas Thoughts 2015

Christmas is here! Christmas is a great holiday, for the most part. I will share some of my thoughts on Christmas in this post.

I admit that Christmas can be overloading for me. Stores and restaurants are crowded with people. Sounds are coming from everywhere. There’s no escape from the Christmas scents. Sure, Christmas is great, but I’d like for the world to make the best time of the year better for autistic people like myself. I enjoy getting in the holiday spirit.

I always love decorating for Christmas, starting the Christmas countdown, eating awesome food, and of course, unwrapping my presents. I like having a tree in the home neatly decorated with beautiful ornaments and colorful Christmas lights. I like meeting friends and family. I am definitely a person who wishes every day was Christmas Day. I wish I could put today on repeat, like a (Christmas?) song. Aside from the accompanying sensory overload, I am a huge fan of Christmas.

I hope that you will enjoy the rest of the year and the years to come. I hope you are having the best time of the year.

Merry Christmas, and happy holidays! 😀

Actually Autistic, Special Interest of the Year, Special Interests

Special Interest Of The Year 2015: Office Supplies

My special interest of the year is office supplies. Pencils, binders; you name it. I have been collecting so many office supplies. I actually lost track of how many office supplies I have purchased within the past few months. At least I won’t need to shop for any more office supplies.

I’ve been collecting every single type of office supply that exists. Pencils, pens, notebooks, highlighters, planners; you name it! I try to make use of the office supplies I have collected as well. I may write grocery shopping lists with the notebooks and pencils, or draw something with the pens. I have enjoyed collecting these office supplies. There are still many more that I want, but I guess they will have to remain on my wish list for now.

Anyway, I just wrote this to satisfy the curiosity of anyone who wonders what my special interest is, as of now.

Blog Intro, First post

Okay, So I’ve Started Blogging…

Since I’ve been passionate about writing for quite a while, I decided to start this blog. I don’t know if anyone will ever read this blog, or even this article, but I’m going to write here anyway. I intend for this to be a blog where the focus is on disability and neurodiversity, while occasionally posting about other things as well.

Anyway, I’m Emily Frost. I’m an autistic & neurodivergent person who now writes a blog. Thankfully, due to previous experience with using things such as WordPress, blogging will be easy and enjoyable for me. Sometimes I’ll write often, and sometimes I won’t. I’ve moved from many previous blogs, but since I didn’t like the names of my old blogs, I decided to rename it to The Stimmy Autistic.

My current main special interest is neurodiversity. I’ve had an interest in neurodiversity for a while, and I regret not blogging sooner. However, I’m blogging now, and I’m happy about that.

I know that my blog will eventually become better than it is now. I’m looking forward to that day, but I’ve just started, so I’ll focus on the present.

Welcome to my blog. I know it’s not much at the moment. But I’ll try to write regularly so that this blog will be better than it is now.

I hope you had a great time this holiday season, and I am looking forward to the new year.